do you ever drop something and instead of picking it back up you just stare at on the ground and think about what a failure you are
All the time
1. Stop faking your fucking orgasms. Society already tells young men that they run the fucking universe - if they can’t turn your cunt into a shooting star then for god’s sake, let them know about it.
2. Once you’ve stopped faking your fucking orgasms, use this newfound honesty throughout the rest of your life - stop ordering coffee you don’t actually like; stop sitting at a desk and allowing people to treat you like shit in the hopes that a meek attitude will earn you a promotion (it won’t); stop telling people they can finish your food when you’re not actually done yet. These may seem petty, but they add up, just like every orgasm you didn’t actually get to have.
3. If you wanna dance all night, dance all fucking night. Dance all night even if you have work in the morning. The worst that will happen is you’ll drink RedBull all day and look like a zombie - pass it off as a head cold to the real zombies you work with and flick through the embarrassing photos you’re being tagged in as you pretend to take a shit for some peace and quiet. I promise, you’ll remember dancing all night in ten years, not the suspicious way your boss looked at you that morning.
4. If your ass looks big in that, that’s a good thing.
5. You will never be as young as you are this second. Embrace it.
6. Embrace the fact that you’re going to get older. Ask your boyfriend if he will still love you when you’re seventy and your tits are down to your knees. Look forward to this time - seventy year old women are allowed to do pretty much whatever they want, and no-one can stop them. You can carry candy in your bag and not share it with a single soul. You can stay home all day and cross-stitch expletives onto handkerchiefs for your grandchildren and slip them under the table out of sight of the people you raised. You can drink whisky at 10am. Every phase of your life is going to be amazing for different reasons. Embrace that.
7. A lot of people will pretend to love Bukowski. Don’t pretend to love Bukowski if you don’t love Bukowski. It’s overplayed and no-one will mind if you actually like Virginia Andrews instead - the people who do mind are boring.
|—||Some more little life lessons, by Daisy Lola. (via spearmintblonde)|
- un-disgruntle yourself
- comfort someone
- be comforted
- go to a quiet place
- press a magic button and fix everything
- get a hug
- see something cute
- hear rain noises
- play cute games
- cut something/someone (blood)
- break something
- open a window
- have a guided relaxation
- listen to nature sounds (or here)
- do nothing for 2 minutes
- play the piano
- make cute ecards
- make cool music (ex.)
- get an idea for what to do
- avoid boredom
- watch a dream
- have a stickman adventure
The new Harry Potter is gonna be set in the 1920’s and so was the Great Gatsby. Jay Gatsby saw a green light across the lake I’m not saying death eaters but death eaters
i dont even sleep anymore i just die for a couple hours each day
oh my god I’m crying. this is officially the best post on the Internet.
if I ever get married I don’t want an expensive ring like I really don’t if I got a ring worth $15,000 I’d be mad do you know how many video games and pop tarts we could’ve bought with that
What if Disney stayed true to Hans Christian Andersen’s original book? Click the pictures to read the story.
Holy shit this is my favourite